I once had a client call me on Thanksgiving Day because she had a custody dispute with her ex-husband about who was to pick up their child at 4 p.m. The police were called and actually intervened, their child was distraught and the entire holiday was ruined for everyone, extended families included.
Without fail, every year after the holiday break I receive calls from clients with concerns about problems that arose during a custody exchange or the late arrival of a parent. Folks, juggling holiday activities with children is difficult even for intact families. It only gets more difficult when parents are separated and have their own individual plans for celebrating. My advice for making sure that you and your kids get through the holidays without a lot of aggravation and stress about custody issues is to plan ahead. Know what the holiday schedule will be well in advance of the holidays. If that means hashing it out with your ex weeks or months in advance, then do it. If you're having difficulty reaching an agreement about a schedule, transportation or exchange times, seek the input of an attorney to clarify what your rights and obligations may be.